Yesterday was International Women’s Day- a day for female empowerment and celebration. Unfortunately, it was also the first day in my life I’ve felt inferior to a man based on my gender.
Up until this point I had the luxury of never really being held back for any reason because I was a woman. My parents instilled in me that I was capable of doing everything a man could and even more; when I was little had no concept that somewhere out there women weren’t growing up in with this philosophy.
In high school and beginning college it was still hard for me to consciously process how women could feel so held back in the modern world. I’d always been at the top of my class, I got a 4.0 my first semester of class, I received a sports scholarship for college- I excelled no matter the circumstances and it never even crossed my mind that being a woman could inhibit my success. The woman’s march just recently occurred and I always supported equality for women, but I was still confused about why so many women were so so passionate about this cause because women do legally have equal rights. I failed to comprehend the social inequality in the eyes of men.
Last night my world got rocked. Suddenly I understood it all and when the realization finally hit I found myself sitting in the bathroom alone crying.
So the actions leading to this realization…
Last weekend I had sex with two guys. Two best friends. Two nights in a row. And I have continued to sleep with one of them since then. Yes there may have been alcohol involved, but I as a woman have personally always enjoyed sex and I’m not ashamed to say it. Behind closed doors we had a fun time and I don’t regret these decisions because I like to have sex and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The part that sucked was the talk and he said/she said after the fact. Of course I did fuck two best friends so obviously they’re going to talk. Not to mention both of them are also on my sports team, so word was bound to get around fast. I’d be an idiot not to realize that. However immediately after I was labeled the slut and the hoe while all the guys high fived each other and celebrated their new “eskimo brotherhood.”
This label is wrong, unfair, sexist and unjust.
I like to have sex because I personally find it an empowering experience. Why should I be slut shamed for partaking in an experience I find enjoyable, while guys are allowed to celebrate afterwards because they partook in the same enjoyable experience? Somehow I’m the losing party in this scenario because I had sex two nights in a row with two different guys. Shouldn’t I be the the real winner in this situation? I had double the sex and double the pleasure.
Sex is fun. Everyone knows that. So why does only one party reap the full benefits?
Last night after much of the he said/she said found its way back to me was when the realization hit. Yeah I love sex and I’m not ashamed of it, but I don’t see a day in the foreseeable future that this viewpoint will be accepted by society and I will be allowed to go about the sex life I desire without facing negative stigmatism.
I’m going to have to make the choice of whether or not to have all the sex I want and face the cruel rumors that our society inflicts on women that partake in this lifestyle, or I could conform to society’s standards and stop having sex when I want to have sex in fear of being labeled a slut. That’s not a choice I should have to make. Men do not have to make this choice. Sex is an enjoyable experience that involves two genders, and benefits both of them in different ways. So why do we have to stigmatize girls the morning after and make them feel inferior to men while conversely the boy gets an ego boost.
Both a man and a woman should wake up the morning after happy and ready to move on with their lives because they just got laid.
So where do I go from here…..
Well I don’t regret the things I did. I had a lot of sex and I liked it and that is perfectly normal and okay even though our sexist society might beg to differ. I’m going to have to deal with the rumors but talk is just talk and as long as I can live with my decisions who cares what the fuck over people think. But I know how empowering sex can be for women and I want to use my time to fight the negative stigmatism women face after having sex. I want other women to get only the empowerment from sex and none of the shame.